It seems drinking each other’s blood is slowly becoming the least surprising aspect of Megan Fox and Machine Gun Kelly’s engagement, as fans are now perplexed at the rapper’s choice of engagement ring.
According to the man himself, the piece of jewellery – which is made up of two rings bearing magnetic stones that make a heart shape – was designed with thorns, so that it will ‘hurt to take off’.
Good Morning Britain’s Susanna Reid put it bluntly yesterday when she called the ring a ‘red flag’.
‘Sorry, surely he’s joking?’ she asked. ‘You make an engagement ring that’s going to hurt to take off?!’
To be fair, most people would run a mile if their partner pulled out a spiked engagement ring while down on one knee (unless they’re all about the ‘love is pain’ mantra MGK is preaching).
So it’s got us thinking, what are some other major proposal red flags that might leave some unfortunate souls with nothing but an overpriced (or underpriced) ring and a dirty knee?
It can be hard to notice even the brightest red flags when you’re swept up in the moment, so we asked relationship experts Jessica Alderson and Stina Sanders to weigh in on the major proposal red flags that shouldn’t be ignored.
The five proposal red flags you shouldn’t ignore:
The proposal is thoughtless
Most people have a dream proposal.
Some people want it to be in public, a surprising grand gesture – like 90s romcoms or 2009 Facebook flash mobs – while others want to keep it quaint, tasteful and private.
Whether you’ve discussed it or not, your partner should have a good idea of what kind of proposal you want – at least you’d assume so, if they’re ready to marry you.
This is why Jessica says that proposing in a way that doesn’t suit your partner is ‘one of the biggest red flags’.
‘If you’re clearly an introvert who isn’t a fan of sports, it would be a red flag if your partner proposed via an announcement at a baseball stadium,’ she says.
‘When something like this happens, it indicates that the proposer hasn’t taken into account their partner’s personality, needs and preferences.
‘It’s a major red flag because it means that the proposer may act like this in other areas of the relationship.’
She adds that while proposals don’t need to be ostentatious, it’s important that the proposer wants to, and does, make it special for their other half.
It comes from outside pressure
Whether it’s because you’re the last of your friends to get married, your parents are on your case or your partner is watching the clock waiting for you to do it, pressure proposals are a real thing.
‘If your significant other has popped the question just because all of their friends are getting married or because their mum wants grandchildren soon, then this is a red flag,’ says Stina.
‘Pressure proposals usually end in tears because the person proposing is not doing this of their own accord and will likely feel resentful for their partner further down the line.
‘Only say “yes” if you truly believe your partner wants to get engaged – not because someone told them to.’
They only propose because it fits into their ‘life plan’
Similarly, that same pressure can come from within.
If your partner is the 10-year-plan type, who expects to have their dream job by 23, an engagement at 25, a wedding at 26 and babies at 27, well, how can you be sure they’re really in it for you?
‘A proposal should always come from a place of wanting to spend the rest of your life with someone,’ says Jessica.
‘I have seen a number of people propose because they feel like it’s the “right” thing to do at that time in their life.
‘You should never propose just because you want it to fit in with your master plan.
‘Ultimately, marriage is an emotional decision and you can’t always control the timing of these things.
‘You have to be adaptable.’
The ring is all wrong
Now, maybe you’re a fan of surprises, but having your partner pick out an engagement ring is a bit of a test – not least because they could turn up with a ring that hurts to take off.
‘I’m not talking about the size of the diamond or how many carats,’ says Stina, ‘but if the style of the rings is all wrong, this is a major red flag.
‘For example, if you hate the colour pink but your partner proposes to you with a pink diamond, then this shows your partner had little thought for you when purchasing the ring.
‘I would go as far to start questioning whether your partner has much thought for you at all.’
They say ‘no’ because the ring isn’t expensive enough
This red flag is for the proposer to look out for, not the proposee.
As Jessica said, having a preference in terms of style, shape and colour is all completely fine, and normal.
But if your partner turns down your proposal because the ring isn’t expensive enough? Alarm bells should be ringing.
In fact, Jessica would see it’s one of the biggest proposal red flags.
‘It indicates that they are more concerned about status and material possessions than your relationship,’ she explains.
‘The focus for both people should be on the love they have for one another and their future together – not wanting to show everyone a huge diamond ring.’
Stina Sanders is a psychodynamic therapist, specialising in relationships.
Jessica Alderson is the Co-Founder of So Syncd, a dating app that matches compatible personality types.
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